Monday, August 5, 2013
Good Gravy - Part III (Three, not One Hundred & Eleven)
August 6, 2013: Do you know your nanny was on her i-phone? It’s true, I saw her. While you left your precious bundle of boo-boo in the stroller this morning hoping Nanny would tend to all their needs with the same careful nut-butter that you employ in this domestic chicanery when you’re not rushing off to corporate stardom, your Nanny—Yes, your Nanny—the one who’s either Jamaican or Russian or German or Haitian or goes to college—your bloody Nanny was i-phoning herself into a pointless and demented euphoria while your bundle of precious sat silently stooped in the stroller with a dumb look of helpless amazement at how someone in such close proximity could not be interacting at all for such a long, long time. I know, I know. You’re really glad to hear this. Me too, because it means that your child is getting conditioned to the new world in which we live. Once again it’s morning in America and the harvest of our many decisions is coming due again. Yippee! Hurrah! Huzzah! But nannies aren’t the only ones devoting their frail attention to keep our kids in line for a better tomorrow. I can’t tell you how many mothers I see nowadays out for power strolls with their progeny gluing all the attention they can into that marvelous cellular device. The kids look befuddled of course, but that’s part of the training curve, and we all know the good things this conditioning is leading to. Yippee! Huzzah! Huzzah!