To Fill Your Gaping God Hole

March 6, 2013:  It seems like the more I ignore this Blah-ugh!, the more people read it ... I'd like to know why that is, and I'd like to know who's reading it ... I mean, I'm not! I come hear every so often and ... Oh, never mind!

I'd like to say I have some passionate opinions and ideas to expound on, but I really don't. This is one of those rare times when I have next to nothing to say. To quote -- or perhaps paraphrase, for I'm too lazy to actually check -- Jack Kerouac in "On The Road," "I had nothing to offer anyone except my own confusion."

That said, if you're here reading this nonsense you're probably more confused than I am ... And I am confused, and I'm not ashamed to say it. I'm pretty much confused about everything tonight, including why I have this never-ending rash on my neck. Still, ironically, March has always been a month that for some strange reason provides me with answers. So hopefully in three or four weeks I won't be as confused. But who knows what I'll be at the end of March. I could be pregnant for all the way things have been going so strangely this decade ...

I'm also hungry. And I just ate. But I jogged this morning. That's probably accounting for some hunger, but more importantly will account for my justifying eating three corn muffins before too long. I don't know why I always get so hungry at night. It probably has something to do with not eating enough during the day, but also that unending attempt to fill what my friend Wendy Mole' once referred to as the ol' gaping god hole. In fact, that's become an understood part of the lexicon in our demented household, and I blithely explain to my kids on a regular basis -- usually in the later hours -- "I've got to get something to fill my gaping god hole," and they understand know ... Of course, sometimes I backtrack and explain the reality that nothing can really  fill our gaping godholes except positive spiritual energy, or something like that, but depending on how much my gaping godhole needs filling, I may or may not bother to say much of anything constructive; instead, it's off to the kitchen again to get another frozen pizza perculating in the oven ...

As I said, I don't really have anything else to add to the discussion, or to your own attempts to fill your gaping holes with whatever weird wisdom you seek from this virtual dissertation ... I can assure you that the answer doesn't lie in frozen pizza, though I'm not entirely convinced it doesn't lie in homemade corn muffins ... But I want you to know that I'm thinking about you, and while the cold, wet snows splash your window tonight and you feel restless and irritable and discontented, I'm thinking of you, and what a fool you ... nononono I'm just kidding ... See, that's what I do ... And while it may not help your pain, it certainly assuages mine at your expense, so at least somebody's healing in this scenario ...

But seriously, I'm thinking of you tonight and how you're alright, and everything's gonna be alright ... I want you to know that ... Everything's alright ...

Start passing rumors that the world is getting better ... Don't believe that danger's lurking ... The communists are gone ... The most dangerous gun nuts are aberrations ... The economy is improving, or at least improvising ... The globe is cooling down again ... Say it with me ... All is well ... All is well ...

G'night Folks ...